Ooops, Wrong Church, Wrong Pastor's Wife!

 Here I am, feeling bummed again. This afternoon I got a call from our associate pastor. She wanted to assure me that she knew I was a good woman and that what had happened was in no way my fault.

Uh oh. WHAT was not my fault?

It took a while, but after a long story and many questions I figured out that somebody had been offended by something I said last Sunday. So offended that they decided to leave the church, as in withdraw their membership. And this somebody was not just anybody but a woman who had recently been installed as a new deacon and whom I regarded as a close friend.

What horrible thing had come out of my mouth, without my even knowing, that offended this woman so badly that she left the church?

Are you ready? Brace yourself:
I had mentioned that we had plenty of beer and wine at the Halloween party for neighbors at our house last week. She was shocked and offended to learn that her pastor's wife indulged in alcoholic beverages.

W - w - wait just a minute! We are Presbyterians! The fact that we enjoy our booze has never been a secret. My husband and I are in no way unusual; Presbyterians are right in there partying with the Episcopalians. According to our perspective, if the Lord Jesus turned water into wine, he's not going to mind if we drink it.

Of course I'm disappointed that my former friend did not feel that she could speak directly with me but went to the associate pastor instead. I'm also sorry that I really do not know what she was thinking. Could she have been active in our church for several years without realizing that Presbyterians tend to enjoy more of the worldly freedoms than certain other denominations? Or did she assume that the pastor and his wife would adhere to more narrow standards? Or perhaps the pastor's wife in particular?

Whatever the case might be, she decided to leave our congregation without coming to me, so I will not know. If she needs to find a different church to feel comfortable, then I wish her well. But I will make a sincere effort to see that her problem does not become my problem. I could be bending over backward, worrying about offending someone with casual conversation. I could also lose all authenticity along with any credibility I might have in the congregation.

In Christ, we are free from the strictures of the law, both written and cultural. With that freedom comes greater responsibility, and our Presbyterian tradition places that responsibility in the hands of each individual, trusting that the believer will honor God in all things. Other traditions choose to establish rules against specific pleasures that might possibly deteriorate into sin: drinking, smoking gambling, dancing, and mixed bathing, among many other things. If such rules help the believer live happily and safely in Christ, then they are good rules. But when one group decides to impose its rules or traditions on other groups, then what was once good becomes harmful.

It is an old, old problem. Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions. One person has faith that he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats vegetables only.The one who eats is not to regard with contempt the one who does not eat, and the one who does not eat is not to judge the one who eats, for God has accepted him.Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. Romans 14:1-4

I think Colossians 3:17 is the appropriate closing: Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.